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October 21, 2012
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When you have better things to do on a Sunday night than have sex.
June 26, 2013
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calculate the odds of getting a parking ticket vs. the cost of parking and make a decision to park in a no parking zone because it’s +EV in the long run
Lol, soooo glad I’m not the only one.
TPE Pro
August 6, 2013
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Oh my god, I'm in love with this thread 😀
A dream doesn't become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination and hard work.
MTT Coaching - Contact for details : merfeldas.a@gmail.com
September 27, 2012
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You have more books than your parents.
July 12, 2013
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You go online and buy a PB hat and watch Rounders for the 10th time and actually enjoyed it like it was the first time you ever saw this movie
Grow some Balls and get it in
August 5, 2013
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Litterally JUST happened:
Playing online poker and a pretty sever storm rolls in. Knocks out the power, and when the power comes back on we notice the rain is coming in such a way that it's forcing water into the house through the air conditioner!! (You know, one of those window unit things.)
We start running around trying to stop the inflow of water, eventually going so far as to have my wife go and put a big storage tub lid on top of the air conditioner outside. In the process my wife gets soaked, but the water starts to slow down.
I'm still busy trying to save all the electrical stuff from the water, my wife says “I'm going to go dry off, and check the rest of the house.”
My youngest daughter, following my wife in tow, says “Do you have any leaks Mommy?”
Without missing a beat I yell upstairs: “Yea! She 3 Bets too light!”
"Remember, play tight. Nothing less than 83 suited."
Play Good, Run Good.
May 30, 2012
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Passing through a speed trap while speeding with out receiving a ticket. Once through, you look to your wife and say, “we faded it”.
September 24, 2013
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When somebody asks you to 'Pass the Sugar' for a coffee / breakfast, an image of Joe Hachem pops into your mind…
October 6, 2010
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I havent been playing much lately, just here and there. Been playing a lot more golf and just generally trying to de-stress, yada yada.
Anyway, my wife said to me the other day, “you need to play more poker” because she likes all the money we get when i actually do play, haha.
She goes to bed earlier than me, so has also instigated the rule that i cant wake her up to tell her how much i have won unless its a 4 figure score haha
not so subtle brag i guess, but how many wives would be actively encouraging their husbands to play more online poker?
especially when i remember 9 years ago or whatever when i put $50 online without her knowing and it was like world war 3.
so i think you know you are a poker player when your wife actively encourages you to play more 😀
PS. I did play my first live tournament in about 6 months and ship it for 3k, so maybe she is right, i do need to play more 😀
TPE Pro
TPE Management
July 20, 2010
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this is the greatest thread in TPE Hand History doh History…
TPE Management
March 17, 2010
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Benny…pre-black friday when I came to bed past 2am my wife would turn over and go…how much did you win?
subtle brag – it got to the point that if it was less than 5k she would just shrug and go back to bed.
January 3, 2014
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Just now I was at my local junkfood store and really wanted a chicken sallad, but instead I think I said wrong and did order a chicken + fries. (no sallad). I was 100% sure I had ordered a sallad so when I got home and opened my food I was like, “WTF! What are the chances, sick badbeat.”
Then earlier this week I did buy a used office chair in great condition. I did justify it with “It´s only around ~8-9 avg buy ins.”
April 16, 2013
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When you go to a bar and meet all your poker friends in the toilets 55 minutes past the hour, every hour, because thats when we go.
December 24, 2013
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“ya my roommate's working all day, so come over…uhm..idk ill text you”
“hey, so uhm…not sure still”
“i'm pretty short so could be soon”
“nvm really good chance of running deep!!!”
“cooler, short again, maybe soon”
“uhhh idk ill text you!”
“ah im sorry we couldn't hang out today (insert lady friend name)”
(goes to bed with a mincash and worse self esteem)
two Sundays in a row. girls hate me. lol.
April 16, 2013
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When telling people what you do with your life becomes an hour long conversation every time.
When you tell people you play poker and they instantly tell you a bad beat story
When the internet going off angers you more than anyone else on the planet
April 16, 2013
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When someone asks you your plans for tonight or tomorrow and you have to ask them what day it is
April 3, 2014
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When your son skype's you from upstairs saying it's almost your break time and he needs less than 5 minutes.
When asked to do anything the converstation starts with ” When your Tournies are over..”
You make side bets with the better half on who does chores depending on who runs better for the night..
TPE Management
April 6, 2010
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michae1di11on said:
When someone asks you your plans for tonight or tomorrow and you have to ask them what day it is
lol. so true.
December 24, 2013
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when you accidentally turn a “oh poker's cool” response from someone into an essay about the logic/math/feel/reads/everything in a particular spot you just faced, realizing that each step of the way they probably don't understand but you keep going anyway thinking that the sum of everything will help it out when you know full well it won't lol. it's like triple barreling in a really really bad spot (i know he'll fold if i just keep betting) “I know they'll understand if I just keep talking”
January 27, 2013
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When your middle school son looks at the gatorade bottle next to the computer and asks, “You want me to dump that”?
October 6, 2010
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RonFezBuddy said:
Benny…pre-black friday when I came to bed past 2am my wife would turn over and go…how much did you win?
subtle brag – it got to the point that if it was less than 5k she would just shrug and go back to bed.
well thats a good way of blowing my subtle brag out of the water! haha.
It is funny how desensitised to winning money you get. Before Ii started playing poker, if I had a $50 win or something that would have been cause for celebration.
I also spent hours researching what sort of product to buy that might cost me $100, but then that night will spend $300 in tourney buyins.
June 3, 2012
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My last two University assignments have been on TPE and Online Poker..
February 1, 2014
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When you list poker on your resume cover letter.
September 24, 2013
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TBMeyer42 said:
When you list poker on your resume cover letter.
LOL… I definately have it listed as a hobby… I was also on an interview panel once and the candidate, when asked about interests etc… named poker… LOL… I so wanted to ask as part of interview… Ok so u have 12 BB's in CO with AJ UTG min raises…… suffice to say, she got the job!!!!
TPE Pro
TPE Management
July 20, 2010
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Instead of calling a person a liar you just say “I call”
June 3, 2012
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My internet was down for 30minutes last night so i went upstairs to talk to my family.
They seem like nice people.
October 21, 2012
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When jack king off gets you in trouble.
When 10 times a day, you pray for good luck one time.
When you say you're going to grind, you dont have a dance club in mind.
April 16, 2013
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Liverpool015 said:
My internet was down for 30minutes last night so i went upstairs to talk to my family.
They seem like nice people.
This is gold
March 26, 2013
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When you’re constantly Poking_Fun at your family and friends …….
TPE Management
April 6, 2010
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Liverpool015 said:
My last two University assignments have been on TPE and Online Poker..
I want to read these! 
September 24, 2013
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When re-organising work station today my ‘In’ tray became ‘Mikes All In’ tray… I don’t think anyone at work will get it…
November 4, 2013
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…. you're waiting tables and as you notice a customer sipping at an empty beverage,
you ask “anything else for you?”
and when he nods in satisfaction you tap the table twice, to indicate your own satisfaction.
You say you’re not stubborn. You're just floating and will reevaluate.
When your tombstone reads “But I got it in good”
You're ready to check out at the supermarket and look for HUD stats on the cashiers
November 21, 2013
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When you are calculating the equity of various hand combinations which appear on liscence plates together.
October 6, 2010
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MuckYourLife said:
When you are calculating the equity of various hand combinations which appear on liscence plates together.
my number plate for my car is XRP-672
i always remember it as check-raise-pot 😀
When you drive in heavy traffic and skip a high-variance opportunity to pass a car because a better spot will come along, and you know you're a better driver than the rest of the field
December 7, 2012
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When you’re in a hurry and approaching a traffic light that you’re sure is about to go red, you decide to use your “one time”.
In my day job I have office hours once a week where people bring me their issues for the product I work on, and if there’s a line, I’ll say “next victim” in a Vietnamese accent when the current visitor is done, and I’m ready for the next one. Maybe that’s just a local expression when someone busts out of a cash game and leaves the table 🙂
August 25, 2014
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When you say, “I'm going to get ready for work” and come back with your pajamas on
TPE Management
April 6, 2010
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lol def can relate to that one.
August 25, 2014
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Haa I was going to write you that one on twitter.
You know you're a poker player when the Christmas holidays end and you're the only person sitting quietly when everyone else is discussing the sadness of going back to work!
You know you're a poker player when you think “here we go again” when another person with no poker knowledge asks you what you do with your life
April 26, 2013
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When you almost die from suffocation because you desperately try to say “I fold, I fold!” instead of just tapping out during a choke-hold-release-excercise in the dojo.
You're glad when football season ends because it allows you to focus on your busiest day of the week
On Thanksgiving after a few adults finish eating and get up, you break up the kids' table to create a final table
TPE Pro
TPE Management
July 20, 2010
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When everytime you push something with 2 hands you pretend its a stack and announce that your all in!
You go to the store 5 minutes after it closes, thinking you can still late-reg.
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