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November 4, 2013
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Hi TPE,
The subject of this post is personal space, and I'm wondering how much of it and what kind of it you guys need to play your top games.
Does it barely even matter how many people are around you? Can you play well with your roommates/family members around or even in the same room as you? Do you need complete solitude, as in nobody in your room or even nobody in your house? Or is it somewhere in the middle?
I am finding that I don't feel comfortable zoning into tournaments when there is anybody in my house. This is related to other issues of mine such as finding time to play/create music – for this I also need solitude and I'm wondering if it may actually be just a pattern that I need to fix. I mean, how many people in this world are not so lucky to ever get a moment to themselves, born into large and/or poor families, perhaps in poor communities? Clearly I am owed nothing but nonetheless I feel the need for this personal space in order to focus on myself.
Do you guys make sure to carve out time alone when you play, supposing you live with people? Do you play whenever you have the time, regardless of who's around? Or is there a sort of balance you've had to arrive at? (If you live alone then I suspect this may be a non-issue for you) I was fine when living with roommates, because they were all adults, responsible for themselves and generally not my concern. And I love my fiance and soon to be step daughter (all work and no play makes jack a dull boy), but I'm noticing that my active concern for them impacts my immersion, if that makes sense – I don't feel 100% in my games, nor do I feel I'm playing my best.
It could mean that I need to make an effort to find time alone. Or it could mean I have to learn how to concentrate better with others around me.
Thanks for reading.
December 11, 2013
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Hey derSchwartz,
Interesting post. I think it’s definitely different for everyone, but I have similar issues. I live in a loft apartment that is basically one large room, and I have a small corner where I play poker at my desk. I live with my girlfriend and don’t have a problem playing when she’s around, always put headphones on with music or a podcast and that helps to zone in. Having said that, I do think I feel slightly more comfortable/focused when I am home alone for whatever reason. I also can’t play my best if my girlfriend has friends over, I feel like I can’t focus as well. I think that if I had an office room all these problems would go away and I could just lock myself in a room and really focus, but in the open room if there’s anything else going on it can be distracting.
Have you ever tried practicing mindfulness meditation before a session? I don’t always do this but going into the new year I really want to try and do a quick meditation before every single session. That and exercise go a long way to help me focus. Just taking 5 minutes to sit down and do deep breathing and clearing your mind a bit can make a huge difference IMO. Tommy Angelo has some good stuff on his website to get started. Try it out:
July 17, 2014
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This is an interesting post, I have had some of my biggest wins with a few distractions present but I find lately I have a lot of issue with stuff going on around me as I'm playing a lot more hours and a lot more focused. I never had an issue as a more casual player but once I started grinding every day I found it almost essential to have my own space and a way to disconnect when playing. I do have more of my focused sessions when my girlfriend is at work (she works nights at hospital as a nurse). The mental game part of this is a tricky one. When she is home I can't help but feel the need at some level that I am obligated to pay attention to her even when she knows I'm playing. Other stuff like the dryer being on, the sound of another tv in the other room or the sound of the blender sometimes really makes me want to lose my shit. Honestly I think that these things likely come from some type of other issue maybe with tilt, at the moment results. I also get a little cray when I don't eat regularly through out a long session. Really one of the worst things to happen would be when she would come in the room when I'm in a key hand or facing a big decision and really throw me off. I've gotten better with this over time but I continue to work on my mental game and some of the planning around my session times ect.
November 4, 2013
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Thanks for the responses.
Douggy I agree about having an office/work/play room. It's definitely in the works for my household and me to get more space including an extra room. That will make a huge difference, but I can tell I'll still feel what jedimindpicks mentioned about feeling the need to pay attention to said person(s) loved/cared for in the house. I get worried she will think I care more about poker than about her, even when she tells me she doesn't feel that way. Something to work on.
It's interesting that this only really applies to online poker. When you're at a live game everyone knows you're there to play poker and most of the people you're dealing with are either working or playing poker too.
December 11, 2013
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@Jedi- Lot of things you said are very similar for me. My girlfriend is also a nurse. She is currently working day shift but soon will be switching to nights, just before I make the switch to playing full time. This should help with our schedules loosely lining up, but I def have the same problem where sometimes she comes in and talks to me while I'm playing. It can really throw off my focus esp. when I am in a spot. It doesn't help that I don't have a “grind room” and just set up a makeshift office under the stairs, so 95% of the time we are in the same room when I'm grinding.
@der- I get the same feelings too about not dedicating enough time to my lady, generally I try to focus as much as possible on spending time with her during off-peak hours, like having a lunch together and going for a walk right before the start of a session. I think if it's possible to spend 30 mins of quality time with your significant other before starting that will go a long way, although I know a lot of the time that's probably not possible.
AND one last time since neither of you acknowledged this I gotta plug Mediation again! It's really easy to get into and a 10 min. pre session meditation will probably change your winrate, and your life. check out the app Headspace- it has a free 10 step program where you meditate for 10 mins a day to get you into the habit. This stuff really does work to clear your mind! Check it out here: https://www.headspace.com/headspace-meditation-app
TPE Pro
August 25, 2012
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I think everyone has their own preferences when it comes to this. My girlfriend just moved in with me and I really enjoy having her there when I play. I find almost impossible to tilt when someone else is in the room to talk to, and it's great to have someone else who can take care of little things like answering the doorbell etc if it goes off when I play. Plus, there are the obvious benefits of having someone around who is actively supporting you and is emotionally invested in your success. I'd take that over solo grinding any day. I get so incredibly bored of poker sometimes when it's just me.
November 4, 2013
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That brings up another point ginger – I think a contributing factor to how comfortable a player can be to grinding while others are around, or hanging out/conversing with loved ones/dedicating time towards playing such that loved ones accept and even enjoy it is:
How much money you make when playing.
If one makes a pro's or even rent's income grinding, grinding will more likely be accepted/encouraged by oneself and by others at greater depths of dedication.
I've never made enough to even be all that confident talking about it publicly, much less than to call it a job. I have been making enough to enjoy it, and to justify trying to increase the amount to something more substantial. In order to do this I have to choose longer intervals and more appropriate times (like Sunday) to grind. But since I don't already make this highly impactful dollar amount, it's harder to justify to myself this increased dedication, and I perceive that it would be harder to justify to my loved ones/friends this increased dedication.
I do remain optimisitc and think it's a matter of communication, patience, diligence, etc. Yet downswings don't help, and that's what I'm on. I’ve had my first two non-green months in almost a year, and it does make me question myself. It makes me fear four more months just like the last two, which would begin to suggest I just ran good in the beginning. I can almost feel my testosterone levels decreasing! Those bubbles and mincashes hurt when you're on a downswing, don't they?
Douggy thank you for the links. I don't meditate enough, if ever, although I do get aspects of it from running/exercising. Not the same thing but it has helped me greatly in many areas of my life. I'll try this before my late morning session.
November 4, 2013
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Thanks for all the responses and sorry for crying that river. Maybe one day River derSchwartz will be used as an alternative and improvement to international trade routes.
TPE Pro
August 25, 2012
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I just want to quickly chime in and point out that if you think you get aspects of meditation from running and exercising, I don’t think your understanding of meditation is accurate. I’m no expert, but while exercise and meditation are both important parts of a healthy lifestyle in my opinion, they are polar opposites in terms of the way they should be experienced.
You’re not exercising if your heart rate is the same as what it would be if you were sitting on the couch, and you’re not meditating if your heart rate is at 140BPM. Probably the most important thing I’ve learned in my limited experience of meditation is that you can’t shortcut it – you can’t half-ass your way to a good meditative practice. The benefits of meditation are something you can’t get from anything else, just like exercise.
Not that I’m accusing you of half-assing it or anything, just pointing out that a little research on the topic might be in order. 🙂
November 4, 2013
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ginger I think you are right that I attribute too much similarity to exercising and I must report that taking Douggy's advice of meditating for 10 minutes before sessioning has proven a difficult task for me. Settling my mind and body at the same time has always been tough for me, and when I meditate, I frequently stop long before achieving my intended goal/purpose/time for meditating. As such I agree there is much I'm not getting.
I will explain where I was coming from with the laymans statement about exercise. I will agree that the body is clearly in a different state when comparing the two concepts as they are generally understood, but I do believe there are/can be mental/spiritual similarities across individuals where one person gets something from meditating and another gets it from exercise.
Regardless, because I acknowledge that I am not actually meditating when running, I am definitely not realizing what meditation has to offer.
Thanks guys, I will keep trying.
January 28, 2013
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derSchwartz said:
ginger I think you are right that I attribute too much similarity to exercising and I must report that taking Douggy's advice of meditating for 10 minutes before sessioning has proven a difficult task for me. Settling my mind and body at the same time has always been tough for me, and when I meditate, I frequently stop long before achieving my intended goal/purpose/time for meditating. As such I agree there is much I'm not getting.
I will explain where I was coming from with the laymans statement about exercise. I will agree that the body is clearly in a different state when comparing the two concepts as they are generally understood, but I do believe there are/can be mental/spiritual similarities across individuals where one person gets something from meditating and another gets it from exercise.
Regardless, because I acknowledge that I am not actually meditating when running, I am definitely not realizing what meditation has to offer.
Thanks guys, I will keep trying.
Would just like to point out if you go into meditation with a goal or purpose the meditation basically becomes inefficient and ineffective. There are mental and spiritual similarities from exercising and meditation, however vast differences also.
I used to teach meditation and nei-gung. I wrote up a basic document for a friend a long time ago to help him get started in meditation. If you would like it please email me at Kalculater@gmail.com and I will send it through. Its also helpful to have guided meditation tracks and music when first starting meditation.
All the best.
Alex
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