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June 22, 2010
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I will try and keep this short and not bore people with the details. All has been well in my poker life until a few days ago. Basically, a girl I was really close with decided to show up in my life again. We never parted on bad terms, she just disappeared. Six years later she tracks me down and tells me how much she missed me, etc…. Here is the kicker she is now married. I am not sure why this is bothering me so much, we were close but never really romantically involved, there was mutal interest, but we never made it happen. This intrusion has affected my game to the point I don't want to play. I think I am angry at her for just vanishing. Funny thing, this is not a life changing event, it is just a girl from the past, but not sure why it bothers me, it has been six years and many women later. Any advice on how I can get my game back? I am afraid to play and donk off my chips becasue I am unable to come to the table focused. This has to be the lamest question I have ever asked, but I need to play.
"Your either in Sheen's Korner or your with the trolls."
praetor, sounds like you had a little something more than friendship happening with this girl. Maybe you never expressed these feelings and they have been bottling up inside of you over the past 6 years, possibly at an unconscious level. Now she is back on the scene, these feelings towards her have floated to the surface.
If this is true, you need to acknowledge this situation to yourself, as well as to her, and then and only then will you feel ready to move on. Once you consciously acknowledge this situation, I am sure it will either go away, or put you back into a decent emotional state to play poker.
GL!!
June 22, 2010
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Dare2Dream said:
praetor, sounds like you had a little something more than friendship happening with this girl. Maybe you never expressed these feelings and they have been bottling up inside of you over the past 6 years, possibly at an unconscious level. Now she is back on the scene, these feelings towards her have floated to the surface.
If this is true, you need to acknowledge this situation to yourself, as well as to her, and then and only then will you feel ready to move on. Once you consciously acknowledge this situation, I am sure it will either go away, or put you back into a decent emotional state to play poker.
GL!!
I was thinking it was a closure issue, since she kind of disappeared. It is always wise to receive a second opinion. I guess I I need to spend some time thinking about it and coming up with a solution. Perhaps, I need to let her know how I feel about her showing up again, married no less. Because I really need to gamble. LOL Thank You!
"Your either in Sheen's Korner or your with the trolls."
Being a 55 year old female ( I guess male/female does not really matter). But, since she shows up after 6 years it is obviously she must not be happy with her marriage and is regretting not being with you. I don't think you need to have a realationship with her, no matter how platonic. My best answer is to pretend to her that you have not thought of her in years and tell her you wish her and her husband the best. One of the WORST things for a poker player is outside negative emotional involvements.
If later down the road she is single, then MAYBE you can re-evaluate. Hope a view from a female helps a bit. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
Shirley
June 22, 2010
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PokerMama said:
Being a 55 year old female ( I guess male/female does not really matter). But, since she shows up after 6 years it is obviously she must not be happy with her marriage and is regretting not being with you. I don't think you need to have a realationship with her, no matter how platonic. My best answer is to pretend to her that you have not thought of her in years and tell her you wish her and her husband the best. One of the WORST things for a poker player is outside negative emotional involvements.
If later down the road she is single, then MAYBE you can re-evaluate. Hope a view from a female helps a bit. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
Shirley
The good news is she is really far away now, like UK far away, so I do not have to worry about direct influence-thank God. I am getting myself back on track now, it was the intial shock of it all. I just needed some nudging to get me to think about it. I do appreciate your input, if she was here I would be following your advice for sure. I have been pretty good of eliminating any negative outside influences since I started playing this one slipped through the crack, so to say. I have already begun my regular routine of getting myself psyched for Saturday of all day play, going to take advantage of double GTD on FT. Not looking forward to waking up early, but two tourneys I really want to play are early, like only five hours of sleep early. LOL
"Your either in Sheen's Korner or your with the trolls."
praetor said:
PokerMama said:
Being a 55 year old female ( I guess male/female does not really matter). But, since she shows up after 6 years it is obviously she must not be happy with her marriage and is regretting not being with you. I don't think you need to have a realationship with her, no matter how platonic. My best answer is to pretend to her that you have not thought of her in years and tell her you wish her and her husband the best. One of the WORST things for a poker player is outside negative emotional involvements.
If later down the road she is single, then MAYBE you can re-evaluate. Hope a view from a female helps a bit. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
Shirley
Shirley, your spot on. I didnt want to mention her situation as this may have clouded praetor's ability to think of the situation with a clear emotional state. But when he win's the double GTD on FT this week, it will all be good:)
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