Thanks for the follow up questions. I have been looking forward to answering

them.

Do I believe I am worthy of Success?

I have put in a lot time thinking about this question and

the answer is I don’t know!!!

I think it comes down the 2^nd question about

putting in the work. There have been a few key moments in my life where I have

had learn or work at something to move forward in my life. I end up studying or

observing to find that I have studied the wrong thing or freeze at a key moment

and end up disappointed. I do have another go at it but if I fail a couple of

times, I find the effort of doing and more so the disappointment of failing

just makes me quit altogether.

That is short answer of the deep down stuff, which, from experience, says No

I am not worthy of success.

My will says otherwise;

I will use poker as the example because that is what I am

into at the moment and have been for a while.

I spend a couple hours most days watching vids, reading

forums, look at my own hand histories and so forth and I can see the different

thinking I am doing now as to what I was, even from a few months ago. So my wii says I do want to succeed. 

Although just rereading that I am not very focused on one

particular area.

That aside, I still come up with the answer: I don’t know.

And I just want to put out there that I am not a loser because what I just read does not read very well. When it comes to the really big thinks, I do quite well. I have a happy marriage, 3 great kids and I own my house, well the bank does but you know what I mean. So the really big things I go alright.

As for defining success, for me on a macro level, it is

knowing that I have become very good at what I have worked towards. That leads

to results, if the knowledge/work base is sound, you will get the results you

are looking for.

To bring it back to poker.

On a micro level, I find that if I make a good decision for

all my chips and lose, it's OK, no problem move on the next game as long as I

have made a good decision. Variance sucks but it is part of the game.

Now if I make a bad decision that is when I tilt because I

say to myself I know better than make that move or call that bet. Get pissed

off with myself, go outside and knock over a chair or something.

Comes down to knowledge..

I hope this answers the questions you pose although they

have also give me an insight into my thinking and that can’t be bad.

Look forward to your response.

Sorry it' took so long to respond

OK to answer your question it is prity simple: I need to do X to achieve Y.
The trick is the application. Some times when I need to apply X.1, I'll apply
X.2 or worse not think of X.1 when I need to.

To put it in a practical application, I love my starting chart, I love my
hud. I like rules.

I have been on a downswing lately and during the past couple
of weeks, I've put thought into why. What I came up with was, I was veering to
far away from my starting charts. I am now playing again and using them and
instead of being knocked out because of bad play, I was sucked out and like I said
before that is OK as I get it in the best.

The other interesting thing I noticed is not a killer instinct as in
Bigdog's article. I find once I get a couple of hours in, my play does change
and I think I've gotten this far and I don't want to push because I've spent so
much time getting here. I usually get to the middle stages with good stacks
around or above average. I achieve this by when I think I'm the best, I bet my
hand. That backs up a little after around three hours in and I find myself
nitting it up a little.

Go figure….

As for the second part what I want of my games

Make good plays.

To explain, to me, the ant's pants would be to constantly be able to accurately
put the “villain” on a range of hands and play according, knowing
when I can push him off a hand and when to effectively value bet. This comes
down to effectively using the tools I have and basing plays according. Lets say
a guy is raising 30% from the button and has me covered while I am in the BB, I
know I can push the top 15% profitably. Now I may be able to push wider based
on my hand and pot already, pot odds and how the hand stands up against that
range = rules. Or of course fold equity, harder rules but rules.

and

to play push/fold better both as the aggressor and the caller. Rules.

I imagine everyone reading this goes 'Me to'.

They are the reasons I bought SNG Wiz (For the quiz) and am studying math.
To learn the rules.

Whereas the ultimate reason for playing is to win, both to win and the prize
money. To me it is secondary, well perhaps not secondary but not as important
as part one, because if I get part one right the 'Glory' and the prizes will
come.

Thanks for doing this although it is starting to feel like couch therapy but
is is good to ask those questions of my self.

For something completely different…

After listening to the pod cast (excellent by the way)
and finding out you still have access to Joe Hachem. Could you ask his thoughts
on being arseholed on his coaching/advice session in the Crown Mahogany Salon
to the group of poker players about 15 months ago? I WILL tell the story but
I've had enough typing for now.