I’ve been playing poker full-time for just over 3 months officially (plus a couple of months when I was burning time after losing my job). I’ll not lie, its been a f’ing roller coaster ride. Every time I start to get ahead and get a couple of results to build the bank roll and start to think about taking out some ‘living expenses’ variance steps in with a big club and bashes me back down. Again, I’ll not lie a reasonable potion of my losses on a downswing I can attribute to ’tilt’. This has been an issue to me in the past, so I have been working extremely hard on my mental since I decided to play full-time, but it takes time, a lot more time than you might expect. 

Anyhow, Having built my BR back up through the first 3 weeks of Feb I had an 8 day slap in the face by variance and then some tilt. My newly rebuilt BR was decimated and I was devastated. For the second month in a row I could bring nothing extra to the table in terms of income (my supportive partner getting less supportive). And now my life roll is coming under pressure. 

Yesterday morning (Tuesday) I was resigned to the fact that, at least for now, and not for the first time, my making a living from poker dream was over. I mustered together what was left of my BR from the various sites and contemplated what to do next. I don’t like giving up without a fight and I hate going out on a wimper. So, I stuck it all back on P’Stars and decided I would play a final (and finite) selection of higher buy-in quality MTTs the focus of which was to be the Mini Super Tuesday but also included the Big$55, Big$215, and FAT$215. 

I only went and cashed in the FAT$215 despite only having 2.5bbs left after someone kindly spazzed A8soooooted into my QQon the exact bubble. But, I kept my cool and didnt tilt (too much) and went on to take 3rd in the BIG$215 for a combined…………………………………………………………….$5800 

What the hell do I do now? I had resigned myself to having to go get a job but now I have a BR again to carry on playing. Think I will take the rest of the week off, I need a break from playing.