Well at least they are better than me.  I dont know what to do anymore.

Full Tilt Poker Super Stack $6K Guarantee No Limit Hold'em Tournament – t30/t60 Blinds – 9 players
Hand Conversion courtesy of Tournament Poker Edge

excessrus (MP1): t4220 70.33 BBs
xxxroks (MP2): t10192 169.87 BBs
4marcus (CO): t10235 170.58 BBs
leopard1980 (BTN): t5915 98.58 BBs
PLACENIK (SB): t3975 66.25 BBs
turfmurf (BB): t4295 71.58 BBs
McShipperson (UTG): t4600 76.67 BBs
deividcs (UTG+1): t956 15.93 BBs
Sylverbyrd (UTG+2): t6657 110.95 BBs

Pre Flop: (t90) McShipperson is UTG with K K
McShipperson raises to t210, 2 folds, excessrus calls t210, xxxroks calls t210, 3 folds, turfmurf calls t150

Flop: (t870) 8 6 9 (4 players)
turfmurf checks, McShipperson bets t595, excessrus calls t595, xxxroks calls t595, turfmurf folds

Turn: (t2655) 3 (3 players)
McShipperson bets t1895, excessrus calls t1895, xxxroks calls t1895

River: (t8340) 3 (3 players)
McShipperson bets t1900 all in, excessrus calls t1520 all in, xxxroks folds

Final Pot: t11380
excessrus shows 3 7 (three of a kind, Threes)
McShipperson shows K K (two pair, Kings and Threes)
excessrus wins t11380

Absolute Poker No Limit Hold'em Tournament – t300/t600 Blinds + t75 – 9 players
Hand Conversion courtesy of Tournament Poker Edge

CEZARIO1 (MP2): BB = 20.0, t12025
FARTSNBOOGRS (CO): BB = 45.7, t27418
SHORTY222 (BTN): BB = 106.8, t64084
AARONBEAT (SB): BB = 66.2, t39733
GOTGME (BB): BB = 42.7, t25590
EWELLER3488 (UTG): BB = 33.7, t20235
ONFISH34 (UTG+1): BB = 6.5, t3905
GOROYALBLUE (UTG+2): BB = 26.3, t15796
SETTERSAM2 (MP1): BB = 55.4, t33251

Pre Flop: (t1575) GOROYALBLUE is UTG+2 with J A
2 folds, GOROYALBLUE raises to t, 4 folds, AARONBEAT calls t-300, 1 fold

Flop: (t1275) 5 J 8 (2 players)
AARONBEAT bets t, GOROYALBLUE raises to t, AARONBEAT raises to t, AARONBEAT calls t0

Turn: (t1275) 2 (2 players)

River: (t1275) T (2 players)

Final Pot: t1275
AARONBEAT shows 8 T (Two Pair, tens and eights)
GOROYALBLUE shows J A (One pair, jacks)
AARONBEAT wins t32717
(Rake: t-31442)