So, I've been in a bit of a downswing lately…but I've been really focused and approaching it the right way.  I'm reviewing all of my tournaments, watching at least a video a day and taking notes, taking care of myself, getting a good night's sleep, balancing my play with a social life…just basically don't think I've been this locked in for a long, long time.

But it finally boiled over today, so I needed to vent a little bit to sort of get the negative energy out of my system.

I was making deep runs in three tournaments simultaneously, and all of these hands happened within about a 20 minute window.

First, I had made a final table in a $22 freezeout, but had a rough table draw with the two big stacks to my left, one of them a super aggro/winning player. First was like $650 or so.  So I knew I had to play a patient game, and after an orbit or two, two players had busted, and I woke up with KK in the BB.  Aggro big stack opens UTG+1, and gets re-shoved on by a shorter stack ~20BBs.  I had about 30BBs and I flat, praying aggro villain will iso (I had a note that he iso's super wide), but at least hoping to get an extra call from him (thought it was +EV, since he's not going to have direct or implied odds to call with anything, really).  He did flat, and flop comes Q98, and I jam about 1/3 pot and he folds.  The short stack flips over KJ, and immediately binks the T on the turn, and I go from potentially chip leader to the short stack.  Three hands later I jam K8o from CO, aggro big stack reshoves A9o, game over for me.  When the 'congratulations, you won $100' box pops up, I flip it off and rage/close it.

Hand two was pretty standard, but in the context it sent me into super tilt.  I re-shoved AQs from CO v MP open, SB jams it in and flips over KK.  Board runs out dry and I bust.

Hand three ended me.  19 players left, 18 pay.  I'm right in the middle, about 9th or 10th in chips, so feeling okay.  Have 25BBs so not super deep, but doing fine.  I get KK again, this time on the button against two fishy big stacks.  I open to 2.1x, and get a call from the SB.  Flop is yahtzee, bringing down Kx 3c 2c.  I think about my bet sizing, trying to figure out if I can make this a two street pot, decide I can't, and instead make a .5 pot CB.  Villain insta re-jams all-in and I insta-call, and villain flips over Ac 5c for the nut flush draw and a gutshot.  The turn immediately brings the flush, and I brick out on the river and bubble the tournament.

Given the context of these hands, and the fact that they happened in such quick succession, I felt my resolve break briefly.  I have to remind myself that I was incredibly fortunate to be in such good spots in hands 1 and 3.  And that if it weren't for variance, the fish wouldn't play.  And that part of a poker player's job is mentally handling swings in variance.  I'm going to take a break, send some e-mails, possibly watch some funny stuff, clear my head and come back with a positive mindset.

If you got this far, thanks for reading.  Words of encouragement would be most appreciated.

Good luck to us all!